10 Things I’ve Learned from Hosting Thanksgiving (and a surprise wedding) for 40 People

You always need more gravy.

Last Thanksgiving, in addition to hosting dinner for 40 people in our new-old Victorian here in Bellville, we also decided to get married on the front porch. A surprise wedding-slash-Thanksgiving, if you will.

If no one knew we were getting married, no one could fuss too much over us - and everyone would show up ready for turkey, mashed potatoes, and sweet potato pie. Perfect, right? It worked! My family had no idea they were walking into an entire wedding production, but they rose to the occasion like family always does: my uncles hooked up the speakers, three people somehow rolled the piano from the living room to the front porch for Will’s mom to play during the ceremony, my brother-in-law set up the chairs on the front lawn, and Dad performed the ceremony. It was perfect in the way only slightly chaotic family moments can be.

This year’s Thanksgiving will be decidedly more chill (no vows, for one), but I’m still taking out the fine china and renting tables and chairs. Once you’ve hosted 40 people and married your husband in the middle of it, regular hosting feels downright easy.

Here are ten lessons I’ve learned along the way: how to prep, what to skip, and how to keep your cool while the gravy simmers and someone inevitably lights the sweet potato marshmallows ablaze (me).

• Start now, thank yourself come Thanksgiving week.
  If you think you’re early, you’re right on time. Throw a few pounds of butter in your cart at this weekend’s Costco run, make a double batch of pie crusts to stash in the freezer, and maybe work through some of the freezer stash to make room for the Turkey you’ll but this week. Thanksgiving doesn’t sneak up on the prepared.

  

• Make a plan (and then a list for that plan).
  I love a list. I live by a list. Write down every dish, one-off ingredients you’ll need to pick up from the store, serving dishes that might need a clean since they haven’t been used since last year, and home chores that will make the house sparkle. Tape it to a cabinet and if you’re lucky, someone will come along and tick a few things off the list without you even having to ask.

• Clean out the fridge this weekend.
  Prep work starts with a clean slate, baby! Finish the old pickles, toss the mystery jars, and questionable leftovers. Wipe down the shelves You’ll need room for the grocery haul! Admittedly, this is my least favorite of all the hosting chores, but it’s really so helpful!

  

• Set the table early.
  My reward for cleaning out the fridge is setting the table. Setting the tables is my favorite pre-holiday rituals. The Monday evening before Thanksgiving I arrange the tables, set out place cards and glassware. It’s quiet and grounding and knocks a big task off the list hanging on the cabinet. I think an organized and relaxed host makes guest feel even more welcome.

• Delegate like a boss.
  Even as a lightweight control freak, I think Thanksgiving should be a bit of a potluck. That’s exactly why Aunt Bonnie is bringing her famous sweet potato casserole and I’m going to ask our friend Beth to make rolls out of her sourdough starter. Let it be a team affair. I’m under the impression that people want to help, and I’d like to let them.

• Do one big make-ahead.
  We’re talking pie crusts, sweet potato pie filling that can be frozen and thawed before baking, the gravy, and definitely cranberry sauce The secret to calm on Thursday is big effort on Monday and Tuesday.

• Don’t experiment on a crowd.
  Thanksgiving is not the time for a first-time soufflé. Go classic, go comforting, and spare yourself the stress of a completely new dish for many.

• Embrace store-bought helpers.
  I’m just saying… I’d never kick Stovetop Stuffing out of bed. I don’t know why it’s so good and honestly, I don’t need to know.

• Create a host survival kit.
  I keep a few essential stashed in the corner so when I’m in a lull from faffing around I can refresh. The essentials include a large insulated cup of cold water for hydration, a tinted lip balm, a tube of hand lotion, my phone charger plugged in, and Listerine strips.

  

• Remember: the point is togetherness.
  The turkey might dry out (but it won’t because we’re dry-brining and spatchcocking!), and someone might spill wine on the rug. But we’ve gathered people we love, there’s pie for dessert, and those are big, sweet wins!

Here are a few staples I have on my Thanksgiving table every year!

• Dad’s Perfect Sweet Potato Pie - it’s a Wilson family classic and really truly BEYOND good!

• A luscious scalloped potato simmered in cream - Dauphinoise Potatoes!

• It’s always nice to have tender little biscuit bites on the table!

• And for appetizers (because those should also be a home run!): Sausage-Stuffed Dates and Muffuletta Deviled Eggs!

Have a wonderful holiday, friends! More from me soon!

xo Joy